I’m working on the book’s “de-stressing” chapter. I’m not happy with the current draft and want to reorganize it. I’m brainstorming about different causes of stress and how that might drive the chapter.
What are your major causes of stress? Mine are deadlines, broken software or hardware, bad customer service reps, and low blood sugar.
How about you?
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24 responses so far ↓
1 nancy (aka moneycoach) // Oct 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I feel stressed in direct proportion to how much control/lack thereof I have over something that matters to me.
2 Kate // Oct 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Time pressures. If I’ve got a deadline looming and it looks like I’m going to be late, I freak.
3 Mj // Oct 15, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Lack of sex. Honestly. When you are married and something interferes with your sex life that can really cause tons of stress.
4 Jeff // Oct 15, 2009 at 8:40 pm
I feel stressed when I seem to have so much to do and not enough time to do it. But I often worry about doing things longer than it takes to actually do them. The worrying stresses me out. I’m working on trying to live by the Nike motto “Just Do It”… and stop thinking about it.
5 Lenore // Oct 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Bureaucracy. It’s because I’m not in control of the situation. I’ve just been put through the ringer over a student visa and now I’m hugely paranoid.
6 Aj // Oct 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm
When all ten co-workers think you can solve their problem right now!
7 Laurie // Oct 15, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Your list seems more like pet peeves… than real stress. Some of the things that cause the most stress/anxiety in my life are:
* Things beyond my control (agree w/ previous poster. I am trying to learn to let go of these things and not waste my time on them.
* Family and friend-related drama (again, little to do with anything I’ve done or not done, but end up embroiled in it just the same as voices of reason). This also includes family and friend related mental health concerns.
* When things beyond my control jeopardize other things I have carefully planned for and committed to (such as a family crisis right before a book deadline, forcing me to adjust expectations of others).
* I stress out when preparing for long-term travel. I have to keep telling myself that nothing awful will happen if I forget something and that I have my passport and credit card and really, those can solve just about anything.
* Critters living in my attic. I’ve spent three years, hundreds of dollars on specialists and exclusion methods, and I know this is something I have to learn to live with, but they wake me up in the middle of the night and I worry they will chew some wire and burn my house down.
* Having kids. The medical/health care aspects. Adoption keeps looking better and better.
* Any Dr. apptmt potentially involving needles.
* Legal issues. They are long, drawn out, and stressful.
This isn’t really an issue for me personally nowadays, but it certainly is for my family and friends: money. And divorce.
Hope this helps…
8 Chip Cullen // Oct 15, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I am most stressed when more than one thing is vying for my attention at the same moment. From two people trying to talk to me, to more than one urgent project coming in at once, that’s what gives me gray hair.
9 Craig C // Oct 15, 2009 at 10:00 pm
For years, my basic principle was that stress came from too many choices with no clear winner, and depression came from no choice or no good choice.
I think I’m now better about creating and controlling choice.
But there’s a different kind of stress at the edge of “things beyond my control”, the fear that it’s not really beyond my control, that if I really tried, focused and prioritized it, it could be in my control. Which leads to frustration or failure, or forces the sad acknowledgment that I just don’t care enough about it to make the necessary sacrifices.
10 Mike // Oct 15, 2009 at 10:35 pm
When there is so much to do and it’s all floating in your head without organization. Usually, writing things down in a list, prioritizing and then doing does the trick.
I would also say that when people around you are stressed, you tend to be more susceptible to stress yourself.
11 Tyler Lars Groll // Oct 15, 2009 at 10:46 pm
I see many repeating words, mostly control.
For me, stress is cause by failure to control how I’m feeling. Instead, I allow others to control my emotions. By taking control of how I’m feeling, saying “I made myself upset, not you”, I take back control of how I’m feeling. I’m choosing to feel the way I want or think is appropriate. Too often we blame the way we are feeling on other people and say that other people stress us out. This concept is simply not true. I hope you enjoy this perspective.
12 Stefaniya // Oct 16, 2009 at 12:03 am
There is only one source of stress in my life right now, and it’s money. Earning it, saving it, spending it, investing it. Every single thing that is causing me stress can be traced back to money.
13 Jeremie // Oct 16, 2009 at 1:21 am
When I give too many yeses and not enough noes, then have to deal with the consequences in far too little time. I know I had control of my choices and still put myself into overwhelm.
My wife. I love her to death ( and with the insurance that means I love her more than money) but no one can push my buttons and stress me out like she can.
Money. When cash falls short, stress rises.
Fixing things with lots of parts. Too many things can go wrong with so many little pieces.
Ikea. See above.
Computer drivers. Even typing that gives me stress. Except I switched to a Mac and all is happiness now.
Jeremie
14 Alexander M // Oct 16, 2009 at 1:50 am
Dealing with BS in any form, e.g. at work, with friends or at home. A performance evaluation from your boss, a test, public speaking. Not knowing where you are going, what’s coming next.
15 Rachel B // Oct 16, 2009 at 2:00 am
Money, specifically when cash flow creates shortage. Anxiety attacks even when anticipating cash shortage.
16 Kelly // Oct 16, 2009 at 2:02 am
We feel stress when we don’t have the resources needed to reach our goals or complete the tasks which are asked of us…and this seems to be playing out in the responses I’ve seen thus far.
For instance: I work at a call center and if a customer has a problem that I cannot resolve on that initial call, I must have my supervisor’s approval to take time off the phone and do what is needed to find a solution to the problem and outreach the customer. However, due to recent downsizing through attrition, the call volume has skyrocketed, and my supervisor will no longer approve any time off the phones. This causes me considerable stress. While I would like to provide the good customer service expected by my employer and the customer, I am not given the resources needed to accomplish this effectively.
Stress is obviously not just limited to the workplace, so the same idea of not having the resources to achieve one’s needs can be seen across the board: Your car keeps breaking down but you can’t afford to get a new one, you need health coverage but are denied because of a preexisting condition, your kids don’t know who you are because you must work round the clock to care for them, and so on.
While there is some subjectivity in determining how stressful an event is, I believe that overall, our stress levels are highest when your basic human needs (in other words, the first two levels on Maslow’s hierarchy) are not met. This is where the physical effects on the body, such as hair loss, weight loss, depression and thoughts of suicide, sleep dysfunction, lowered immune system, memory loss, and high blood pressure and risk of heart attack, will begin to manifest.
17 Bob Kerns // Oct 16, 2009 at 3:40 am
When two (or usually more) parties are demanding I spend a given block of time THEIR way.
(Especially when they switch around what block of time, so I can’t actually plan my time).
And: TIME THIEVES! You know — things that steal your time. The IRS. Medical billing. Telemarketers & spammers. Gratuitous demands for information.
It’s not so much that these are usually stressful themselves, as they become multipliers of stress when time is short.
18 Scott Cunningham // Oct 16, 2009 at 6:26 am
As a business leader, on key stressor is managing my stress in front of my staff. The internal conflict of worrying about the economy, worrying about individual employee concerns, and worrying about team performance all while maintaining a positive outlook and motivational spirit can leave me with few constructive outlets.
Combine that with doing the same dance with your family and you soon feel huge performance pressure to not only resolve the issues, but to do so without airing your own fears.
19 peakaytea // Oct 16, 2009 at 7:14 am
Not being able to find things. I’m not sure if it’s chicken or egg, but under stress, things start to go missing and that causes more stress. Or vice versa? Agree with prior posts that lack of control is a common theme in my stress, also.
20 arcticdreamer // Oct 16, 2009 at 9:41 am
being so far from friends & family in crisis
21 Craig C // Oct 17, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Being attacked by zombies is stressful, because the stakes are high, the attacks are unpredictable and out of your control, and there are so many options for where to go, what weapons may be available, etc..
In a way, being cornered is less stressful, since the options are only fight with what you have or die.
My odd brand of stress is that, while huddled in the survival bunker, rather than accepting that this is out of my control and making the best of it with whoever is there, I’d create stress for myself by feeling that I should develop time travel to go back and stop the creator of the zombie army before he began. When, of course, I should choose to reduce my stress and join with the force behind the zombies.
22 DS // Oct 18, 2009 at 12:01 am
Deadlines, Stress, Sleep deprivation/Lack of sleep, Hunger, Physical and mental fatigue, headaches/pain, lack of control, when I can’t focus my thoughts/mind, pressures from people, uncomfortable-ness, HEAT, bad eating (not necessarily bad food, more not eating the things I really want.), when everything is going bad and feels hopeless, when I can’t do anything properly (messing things up), can’t get started, light, itchy, when my hair is being difficult. I’m such a stressed child…
23 J T // Oct 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm
There’s an acronym I came across that describes it really well for me.
The biggest cause of stress in my (and most people’s) life is NUTs – Nagging Unfinished Tasks.
That’s why we always want to get organised — not to have everything neat and orderly and easy to find, but rather just to know everything is where it should be and we’ve seen it and nothing has escaped our attention coz otherwise it’ll blow up in our face. And really we have this nagging feeling that we missed out on something, and that something might be THE thing that blows up.
If something blows up, the nagging voices are proved right, making them stronger and more insistent.
And that’s the appeal of various organising methodologies including the current GTD movement. Getting rid of the nagging voices.
So want to be driven completely nuts and feel stressed out — NUTs are your best bet!
- JT
24 Halfawake // Oct 28, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Lack of measurable progress.
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