Comments on: Why do people always sabotage you? http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50 Exploring business and its impact on life with Stever Robbins Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:22:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Stever http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50#comment-1223 Stever Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:43:09 +0000 http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50/#comment-1223 There are certainly situations where you're genuinely being ignored or belittled because people feel threatened by you, or they just don't like you, or some other reason. If that's what's really going on, it's worth confronting the real choice here: is it worth "knuckling under" to keep the job? My point is that many people fall first into a victim mentality, without considering that they may play a part in what's happening. I know I do; only recently have I started to realize that when I feel defensive, it's usually because I *agree* with the criticism and don't want to admit it. So these days, I do my best first to accept the criticism as if it's true, and only argue if it seems untrue to me. There are certainly situations where you’re genuinely being ignored or belittled because people feel threatened by you, or they just don’t like you, or some other reason. If that’s what’s really going on, it’s worth confronting the real choice here: is it worth “knuckling under” to keep the job?

My point is that many people fall first into a victim mentality, without considering that they may play a part in what’s happening. I know I do; only recently have I started to realize that when I feel defensive, it’s usually because I *agree* with the criticism and don’t want to admit it.

So these days, I do my best first to accept the criticism as if it’s true, and only argue if it seems untrue to me.

]]> By: Deirdre http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50#comment-1222 Deirdre Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:18:58 +0000 http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50/#comment-1222 Sometimes people really are jealous, though. I work in a place where my ideas are not valued at all, in fact I am reprimanded if I try to do things differently than "the way its done". I'm not trying to rock the boat, or show that I'm "better" than them, I'm genuinely trying to come up with good ideas for our business! But some people just can't tolerate a newcomer with new ideas, and will do whatever they can to sabotage him/her. Sometimes people really are jealous, though. I work in a place where my ideas are not valued at all, in fact I am reprimanded if I try to do things differently than “the way its done”. I’m not trying to rock the boat, or show that I’m “better” than them, I’m genuinely trying to come up with good ideas for our business! But some people just can’t tolerate a newcomer with new ideas, and will do whatever they can to sabotage him/her.

]]> By: John http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50#comment-1104 John Sat, 05 Apr 2008 23:43:25 +0000 http://blog.steverrobbins.com/bizblog/where-does-sabotage-come-from-50/#comment-1104 I was just recently sabataged by a group that I work with in graduate school and I don't think I have to live up to their standards nor try to win their approval since I really don't like them. When I offered advice, it went ignored. When I asked questioned, they thought I was ignornant. When I attended each meeting wiling to participate it went unacknowledged. The point is - you don't have to win people's approval. People are not the end all, be all. I was just recently sabataged by a group that I work with in graduate school and I don’t think I have to live up to their standards nor try to win their approval since I really don’t like them. When I offered advice, it went ignored. When I asked questioned, they thought I was ignornant. When I attended each meeting wiling to participate it went unacknowledged. The point is - you don’t have to win people’s approval. People are not the end all, be all.

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